I’m well aware that typing things like this may make me look even more bitter and spiteful than the sorts of people I’m going to discuss, but having taken the time to really think about this, I may as well get it over with sooner rather than later. So without further ado, here it comes:
1. Those who will only accept the original TransFormers – Generation 1, to use the popular retronym – and any later product directly derived from them as the only true TransFormers, whilst viewing every other official TransFormers branded product as a pale imitation. These so-called “fans” tend to take a rose coloured look back at the original figures, and are only too fast to play their “true fan” card against those who disagree with them about anything. Like them, I’ve been into the franchise since the mid-1980s, but unlike them, I’ve been very capable of accepting most changes (with only a few very small exceptions, one of which I’ll get to in due course), and I’ll be only too fast to call them out if their attitudes get to me;
2. Those who want every TransFormers animated series to stick to hand drawn, two-dimensional animation, just as the original Generation 1 show was. Even when I first saw the show in the 1980s, I could tell that both Toei Animation and AKOM (especially the latter) produced a lot of flawed animation. And if I were to take an educated guess, I’d put much of that down to language barriers between the American producers and the Japanese and Korean animators, along with the pressure to produce episodes of the show by certain deadlines. That said, the use of 3D computer animation in later TransFormers shows has, for the most part, ironed out such animation flubs, and if that means less characters can be introduced on account of budgetary concerns, then so be it;
3. Those who demand that the inevitable reboot of the TransFormers live action film franchise – which I’m tipping to occur in 2024, in order to coincide with the 40th Anniversary of the franchise – be directed by Joss Whedon and written by Simon Furman, as both are renowned for pandering to as many hardcore fans as possible. Furthermore, I wouldn’t put it past these fanboys to insist that Hasbro drop Paramount Pictures as a production partner in favour of Disney-owned Marvel Studios, as Marvel Comics published the original TransFormers comics in the 80s and 90s, and Marvel Productions co-produced the original show with Sunbow Productions at that same time. Of course, these stories (especially the former) are considered to be the definitive source material by the Geewunners (i.e., G1 purists), and slavish adherence thereto is what they wanted from the live action films right from Day One. But if the involvement of Marvel were to occur, IDW Productions would have to be compensated adequately for having to surrender their TransFormers comic rights, thus throwing a potentially huge spanner in the works;
4. Those who want the TransFormers live action films to be every bit as family friendly (read: kiddy) as the animated TV shows, with a PG rating at the very most, and no character deaths (except for one notable and heavily clichéd one, which I’ll get to later). The trouble is, live action wars cannot be sugarcoated; organic and mechanical beings fight, kill and die, and things aren’t as black and white as a cartoon, by its very nature, is able to portray them. And in the real world, allowing a mortal enemy from the opposing side in a war to live to fight another day will, more often than not, prove to be a fatal mistake. Hence the expression “terminate with extreme prejudice”;
5. Those who consider everyone involved in the production of the current TransFormers films to be incompetent and untalented, especially if these armchair critics have never contributed to the making of a film themselves. If you ask me, billions of dollars in box office takings worldwide would strongly suggest that the makers of these films are actually doing something right in terms of bringing great profits to companies and new products to consumers. And while the movies are by no means perfect in my book, they achieve all of their goals for me, and if they continue to do the right thing by me, I’ll continue to support them; and
6. Those who not only get a thrill out of seeing Autobot Leader Optimus Prime die in almost every incarnation of the franchise (even though he tends to return not long afterwards, much to my relief), but who want to see him die permanently. If the promotion I’ve seen for the next TransFormers TV series so far proves to be a true indicator, then I have a sinking feeling that these neckbeards may finally get their wish. That is, that Optimus Prime may only exist as an apparition for the duration of Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2015), and if that’s indeed the case, then it’ll be a change I cannot support, and I won’t be watching the show.
Now I’m spent!