Funny stuff, this! :-)

I had a feeling that the new track from The Prodigy – the title track from their forthcoming album Invaders Must Die – was going to polarise fans of the group, but I never thought it would provoke a response as funny as this!

As for me, I thought the song and its music video were good, but far from the greatness of their earlier years, and still a bit too commercial overall. Here it is:

Heads, and I’ll buy the album. Tails, and I won’t.

*Flips a coin*

Tails it is, so no invaders will die for me.

This is cruel….

Since Christmas is fast approaching now, I’m most relieved that the events of this next video haven’t happened to me:

OK, so the boy went searching for a few hidden presents; at that age, I’d have been inclined to do the same. However, this way of punishing him was WAY too harsh, and if he’d had a mental illness, this scenario would’ve left a permanent mental scar, to say the least.

Though to his or her credit, the person who made this video assured the viewers that the little guy actually DID get the Xbox 360 a short time later.

Adelaide needs a new Entertainment Centre. As soon as possible, I might add.

(Before I start, let me remind you that I’m not a hardcore Coldplay fan. As a matter of fact, I find their music rather depressing, and always have. I’m just using them as an example here. )

In light of the recent news regarding Coldplay’s February/March tour of Australia (i.e., that there’s no chance in hell of an Adelaide show, despite the 3-day gap between Perth and Melbourne’s shows), I think it’s high time a new, larger, better designed and more centrally located arena is built in Adelaide to replace the ageing Entertainment Centre.

It appears that Australia’s major concert promoters – Andrew McManus, Paul Dainty, and the three Michaels (Chugg, Coppel and Gudinski) – are now more reluctant to assist in bringing the world’s bigger musical acts to Adelaide to perform at the Entertainment Centre. The reason: the promoters claim that the facility is “tired and dated”; that it is no longer adequate to cater to the growing demands of both audiences and artists, and is therefore in need of an upgrade.

In a way, I don’t blame them for thinking that. Right off the bat, I thought the AEC was poorly designed; it ought to have emulated the Sydney Entertainment Centre, with the seating facing toward a specific stage area instead of being “in the round”. As a consequence, most – if not all – concerts held there seem to use only half (or two thirds at most) of the available arena space.

That said, a $50 million upgrade of the centre has been on the cards for some time now, but due to the AEC being a State Government asset and some recent budget shortfalls, there’s no guarantee that it will actually happen now.

As I recall, one of the plans for it was to build a second, smaller venue on the site, holding 2000 people. But considering that a venue of that size – Thebarton Theatre – isn’t too far away, I have no doubt that the management of that particular venue won’t be pleased about that. Therefore one can assume that they’ll be fighting against any such proposal all the way.

Leaving just one more option: a new, state of the art arena in the heart of Adelaide as opposed to being in an inner suburb, holding no less than 16000 people. Sure, it’ll be an ambitious and very costly option at first, though some of the costs can be offset if the existing AEC is sold on the side.

Still, I believe that if you build it, they will come, and if it’s done right, it’ll put Adelaide on the music map for good.

(On a side note, I enjoyed The Galvatrons’ concert last night, and the support acts were pretty cool as well. )

Deal Or No Deal = Dollars For Dummies, and more TV thoughts….

Yes, I know a statement like that may incur the wrath of hundreds of thousands of Australians who can’t get enough of Deal Or No Deal, but I prefer game/quiz shows that make the contestants work a little harder to earn the big cash and prizes, such as Temptation.

If you ask me – and you haven’t – game shows that reward people generously for little real effort take the lowest common denominator aspect of modern commercial television to the Nth degree. It seems the only real prerequisite for being on the show is turning up and being picked at random, and after that, being able to pick numbers and say “deal” or “no deal” when a bank offer occurs. Little or no real brainpower is used, thus making DOND more arse than class.

With that in mind, I welcome the Nine Network’s decision to show Temptation over summer. It is, of course, a more modern take on the quiz phenomenon that was Sale Of The Century in the 80s and 90s, and if I had a dollar for every bit of general knowledge I’d acquired from these shows over the years, I’d have at least $5000.

But the best thing about it is this: you need to have a great deal of general knowledge just to get on a show of that nature, and you need to win eight shows in a row to take home all the cash and prizes, thus truly giving you the right to say you’ve earned them.

Unfortunately, this is a concept that has become lost on younger audiences these days. It seems the younger viewers prefer shows that are less taxing on the grey matter; the rise of Big Brother in 2001, for instance, sealed the fate of the original Sale Of The Century. And the resurgence of Home and Away last year resulted in Temptation being replaced by Two and a Half Men for most of this year. Ironically, that particular American sitcom is now winning the ratings battle in the 7pm timeslot, meaning that this forthcoming season of Temptation may well be the last.

Naturally, the accountants at CVC Asia Pacific – the private equity mob running Nine on the East Coast these days – wouldn’t have it any other way. They seem determined to keep roping in the lowest common denominator of audiences for the lowest possible cost, leaving David Gyngell and Co. to try and do more with less.

That said, I believe Ray Martin was correct in his Andrew Olle lecture: what Australia needs is a new type of media mogul with the passion for television that the Packer family once had. Perhaps it’s time for Lachlan Murdoch to step out of his father Rupert’s shadow and show us what he could do with a completed Nine Network….

Madison Q must REALLY like the Horse ;-)

I say this because according to the Crazy Horse Revue’s website, it appears Madison Q will be featuring there for a total of 12 weeks. In all the time I’ve been going to the Horse, I’m pretty sure that no international feature has spent that much time there in one hit (four weeks is the usual duration, and one week for Australian features).

Of course, I’ve got nothing against it, since I’ve had the opportunity to chat with Madison Q on one of her previous visits, and she struck me as being both a very talented performer and a very nice woman. Though the longer than usual stay this time around raises a few questions, such as:

1. Is she considering a permanent move from Canada?

2. Since very few international features have made further trips to Adelaide to perform at the Horse again, have there been difficulties between such dancers and the management that have served to reduce Joseph Farrugia’s feature options?

3. Considering that a picture of Ginger Jones was used in the Yellow Pages advertisement this year, does this mean that Georgia Jaimes is about to hang up the stilettos, thus warranting a longer stay for Madison Q?

Whatever the answers are, it’s still a curious situation, and I wish Madison Q all the best.

Though on the flip side, I sure as hell hope that Ashlee Adams isn’t featuring at the Horse next week, for these reasons:

1. Unfortunately, Ashlee has taken certain actions I have performed with others (see the “A Tale Of Two Strip Clubs” series for details) as affronts to herself, using them as excuses to despise me. And since I’m planning to visit the Horse next week, another encounter may not be too pleasant for either of us; and

2. I thought she’d be keen to get her club appearances out of the way this week, as I recall her being uncomfortable there at times. In any case, I think she’s better suited to private shows as opposed to the clubs, since dancers with less conventional looks (multiple tattoos, piercings etc.) seem more appropriate for the niche markets to which private agencies are more willing and able to cater.

But let’s see what happens, shall we?

If I were a professional wrestler….

…. I’d do the following:

1. Use my real name, but have “The Beast” in the middle;

2. Use this modified powerslam, as demonstrated by “Solid Gold” Scott Parker, as a finisher -

- naming it “The Clean Kill” to suit my beastly gimmick;

3. Stick to the independent wrestling circuit, since WWE Chairman Vince McMahon still has a hard on for huge men after all these years, therefore a not-so-huge guy like me would probably be used as a jobber (i.e. enhancement talent) and not much more;

4. Try not to die young, as so many people in the wrestling business have;

5. Never take steroids or muscle relaxants, no matter the circumstances;

6. Learn to use as many moves as I can, since I wouldn’t like to be the target of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” chants a la The Great Khali, John Cena and Randy Orton;

7. Give 110% in every promo and every match; and

8. Hope to hell I get a championship push!

Pepsi Blue = DEATH!

According to an old signature picture created by Maverick Hunter Christian for the TFW2005 Boards, that is (hello, MHC, if you find this ). And considering that the guy in this video drank some that was years past its Best Before date, I hope he didn’t suffer that very fate!

But all gags aside, I didn’t actually die after trying it when it was briefly available in Australia. It was much like normal Pepsi, except for the obvious blue colouring and an added berry flavour, but nevertheless, it ended up becoming the New Coke of the new millennium (i.e. a monumental failure).

Thankfully, not all new things and changes to existing things end up in disaster. Michael Bay’s new take on the Transformers concept in 2007, which was condemned by so many Transformers Generation 1 purists (or “Geewunners”, if you will) without even seeing it, made hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide, and I have no doubt that its sequel – Revenge of the Fallen – and any future Transformers films will do the same.

Also, when the new Star Trek film premieres in May, I’ll welcome the clean slate upon which J.J. Abrams is working, and if there are plans to eventually tie it in with the original Star Trek universe and its multiple spinoffs, so be it.

So if people are planning to complain to me about how some corporation “raped their childhood” with a new or changed product or concept, I strongly suggest that they perish the thought and get a life.

Brace yourself….

…. for one of the most intense videos I’ve ever seen. Not that there’s a lot to see, but the audio more than makes up for that (and there is a LOT of coarse language, so don’t say I didn’t warn you ).

Even though it’s also been posted on humour sites such as eBaum’s World and Kontraband, I’d still have to say that even though Sharon Stone was able to fake them in Casino, emotions don’t get much more raw, real and serious than this. The crazy mother in question sounds like a crack whore in the literal sense, and the stepfather must be one of the most whipped men on Earth with his casual attitude.

And naturally, I give full kudos to the son for keeping relatively calm the whole time, because I sure wouldn’t. I’ve also heard that:

1. He went to live with his grandmother after this incident;

2. His mother already owed him $120; and

3. The good stuff in his room was bought by his grandmother and by him (on account of his job).

But what disturbed me most about it was that some of the comments on the YouTube page were actually supportive of the mother, and other commentators seemed to admit to being on the receiving end of similar treatment. Yeek.

Remember when Rove McManus was cool? ;-)

Because I sure do. In my opinion, Rove and his friends used their best material when they were on the Nine Network in 1999, and in their first year on Network Ten (2000, naturally). This classic sketch, titled “Dan McCann THE ANGRY MAN”, further illustrates the point:

It still cracks me up every time I watch it, and even though Rove & Co. would still do such sketches at Network Ten from time to time, none of them came close to this in terms of sheer entertainment and nuttiness.

That said, I still think it’s a shame that the live variety aspect of Rove’s show became far more dominant from 2001 onwards. Even now, it seems more like a more risqué version of Hey Hey It’s Saturday – an Australian TV institution that ran on the Nine Network from 1971 to 1999, when live variety was financially viable here – and it grew stale more quickly than Hey Hey ever did.

They don’t make them like this anymore ;-)

Of course, I refer to TV station identifications, such as this one:

Cutting edge animation for its time (1981), grand orchestrated music…. it’s a damn shame that major commercial TV networks here don’t seem to put as much time, effort or money into such idents these days. Though I guess that’s what we get for letting the Nine Network fall into the hands of bean counters whose only concern is the bottom line.

(And on a side note, I’ve made a couple of edits to my Prodigy-based posts, simply because I’m a stickler for getting the details right! )